I'm In Here
by DarkAndTwisty007
Summary: More tears fall down my face, but this time his fingers are there to catch them. "I'm right here." He whispers. SPOILERS 3x24! Beckett's POV.


**I'm In Here**

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><p>My breath was stuck in my throat, and I felt as though I had fallen hard causing the wind to be knocked out of me. My mind was spinning wildly, my vision blurring in and out. My body was moving forward involuntarily, but my mind wouldn't accept the fact that what was happening before me was real. History could not repeat. Not like this.<p>

I am on autopilot. My finger is pulling the trigger that will cause death to the one who had been shooting first. . . I wouldn't - couldn't accept it. But, it was too late. I knew it would be. But even as I fell to the ground, my hands pushing into his shoulder, my full weight pressing down on him, I found I didn't want to give up.

The nameless man across from me is down, but now I think of him as a murderer. A term in my mind, that is much more deadly.

The body I have thrown my weight upon is panting heavily underneath me, his eyes are closed from the pain that must be tearing him inside and out. I call backup immediately, with one of my hands pressing down on his blood stained shirt. I take off my own jacket to help stanch the blood flow, but all too soon, it is a stained crimson and seeping onto my hands. His breaths are shallow from his mouth, making him gag before coughing brutally. Blood spits out of his mouth, and splatters onto my face.

"Dad." I whisper. "Shhh... don't worry. You're gonna be alright. Shhh... don't worry I'm here. You're gonna be okay. I'm here now."

Even as I try and comfort him, I know the words are useless. Utter nonsense. Words mean nothing when you're hurt.

My dad seems to be fighting with himself. Trying not to give up. His breathing gets shallow, then quick and shaky. His eyes focus on me, and I hold them, pleading silently for a medic to arrive.

I hear sirens at last. They get louder, and louder, and I wish desperately that they would come faster.

_Hurry._ _He's dying. He's dying. _The words echo through my head, and my vision blurs as tears form in my eyes.

"Kate. . ."

I lean in close to hear what else he will say, my eyes moving back and forth rapidly trying not to cry.

His eyes close.

My throat closes.

_History cannot repeat_.

"Dad." _No. This can't be happening. Not again. This can't... _"Dad! _Dad!_" I shake him, but he is lifeless and still beneath my hands. "_Dad! _DAD!" _No, no, no._ "Come on, Dad, _come on. _Stay with me. _Stay with me!_"

But, he is already gone.

I am sobbing so loudly, begging him to not leave me, that I don't even notice the ambulance has arrived. Paramedics surround me, pushing me gently out of the way as they try and bring him back to me.

My mind is telling me to accept it. That he is dead and there is nothing else they or I can do. It's over. It's finished. Soon, I will have proof that he is officially gone.

There is a roaring in my ears, but I see a medic mouthing the words.

"Time of death: Ten twelve."

I can't breathe. I am stumbling and reaching out blindly for anything I can use as an anchor. Anything to keep me upright. My outstretched hands finally find something. A solid arm. A solid, familiar arm. My fingers grasp the material, and I look up to see Castle in front of me, concern and sadness on his face.

With that one look, I find myself in his arms. My arms wrap around his neck, over his shoulders, and my fingertips brush against the ends of his hair. I bury my face into his shoulder, even though it is hard to breathe. His arms wrap tightly around me, rubbing gentle circles on my back, his warm voice in my ear trying to soothe me. I know he is the only one who can comfort me. Truly comfort me.

I don't trust anyone else enough to see me like this.

How long he holds me, I don't know. But when I look up from his shoulder, Only a few people are still lingering at the crime scene. Someone is talking to me. Focusing on the words, I realize it's Castle offering to take me home, and I accept by gripping his hand tightly in my own.

He hails a cab and takes me to my apartment, never letting go of my hand. I'm glad he doesn't find a reason to.

Later, when he is about to leave me by my door, Something stops him.

"Do you want me to stay?"

"Yes."

I hardly recognize my own voice.

~Castle&Beckett~

I wake up to the sound of thunder.

Castle is beside me. His arm draped loosely around me. An infomercial is playing on the tv in front of us, the volume turned down low. We had fallen asleep on the couch. He had sat close to me the entire time, since our door conversation. I hadn't felt that kind of safety in such a long time. But as I started to become more alert, reality crashed down on me.

I slowly lifted myself off of the couch, careful not to disturb Castle's sleeping form beside me. Without turning any lights on, I walked quietly into the bathroom, and leaned against the sink, my skin forming goose bumps from the cold ceramic. I listened to the quiet around me for a few minutes, running the previous hours through my mind. Everyone else in my family was dead. . . I am now completely alone in the world.

Stomach churning, I turn towards the toilet, landing heavily on my knees, and heave into the white bowl. With shaky legs I stand back up and turn the faucet in the sink on. I splash water on my face and rinse my mouth out. It's ice cold, shocking me awake. It's telling me I'm alive. I can still feel.

I'm alive.

Lifting my face up to look into the bathroom mirror, I find myself crying again.

Suddenly, a hand turns off the water from the faucet, and the silence is disturbing. I can only hear his breath in my ear, my heart is pounding against my chest. He guides me gently to the floor, and I slide down against the cabinet without hesitation. His arms wrap around me. One in my hair, the other around my waist, his thumb moving up and down gently. I am halfway in his lap, silent tears sliding down my cheeks as I clutch at his white shirt with shaky hands.

"I'm the only one left." I whisper.

He shakes his head. "No you're not."

"Everyone else is dead. I'm alone now. I can't... I can't—"

"You have me." Castle whispers. I hug my body closer to his. "Your not alone. You still have me"

More tears fall down my face, but this time his fingers are there to catch them. "I'm right here." He whispers.

I close my eyes, and lay my head against his chest. "Say it again."

"I'm here."

"Again." I breathe.

"I'm here."

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><p><em>I wrote this way before I knew anything about Knockout, so things are a little different than I think they would be now. Anyway... we hope you enjoyed it!<em>


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